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”“Shit!”“What?”“Exactly halfway between periods.”“I wasn’t planning on being a Daddy,” he said.“I wasn’t planning on being a mom,” I said. “How many times?”“What?”“Did I surrender to your manly charm?”“I don’t know ... six or seven...” he said. “What is your name?”Now he asks ... I thought, oops... “What’s yours?”“I asked first,” he said.“Surprise,” I said.“It was kind of sudden but I don’t think it was a surprise ... alcohol tends to loosen morals. So what’s your name?”“Surprise,” I held up a hand. “You know Abbot and Costello?”“I’ve heard of them.”“The first baseman ... what’s his name?”“What’s on second,” he chuckled. “Who’s on first.”“Exactly,” I said. “My name is Surprise Me Flintkote.”He grinned, “Really?”“Really.” I said, “Cross my heart and hope to die.”“What do your people call you?”“Wait ... what? My people call me Surprise, Melody or Trouble. Your turn.”“John Beavers...” he said.“From?”“Beavers Bottom.”I raised my hand like I was swearing to tell ‘the truth, the whole. He pulled a strange looking piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. The paper was slick, shiny and printed in four or five colors. The map was in great geographic detail but did not have roads or trails marked on it. Jonathan pointed out where we were on the map and then pointed out a point on the map to our northwest. "We need transportation to this location. On our return trip we will be heavily laden," he said.I looked at the odd map then pointed off to the north-northwest at a jagged looking mountain peak. "You are talking about Evil Spirit Mountain and you do not want to go there. The Shoshone red men claim the mountain is cursed. I know for a fact that everyone who has ever been up there catches some sickness and dies a slow painful death," I said.The strangers were not deterred by my grim proclamation, if anything, they became even more excited. One of the other women yipped, "Radiation sickness! This has to be the right place." I asked what radiation sick was, alarmed.
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